|Season 1, Episode 14|
|Air date||May 7, 2000|
|Written by||Alan J. Higgins & David Richardson|
|Directed by||Chris Koch|
With Lois visiting Francis at military school, Hal helps the Krelboynes make a robot. Malcolm, Reese and Dewey diligently search the house for quarters to use on quick games at the local arcade
Malcolm invites his Krelboyne classmates over and they show him a tape on an open competition where killer robots brawl. They wish to enter due to their numer designs, plans, knowledge, barely any social life, and the fact Dabney's father tries to buy his sons love. The only downside is that their parents would never allow the m to do something as danger as this, knowing Malcolm's house has a total lack of caring adult supervision. Meanwhile, Lois is preparing to visit Francis at his school after he become severely injured. Hal is skeptical as hey haven't spent a night apart ever since Francis was forst born, but reluctantly agrees. The next morning the boys know the best time to ask Hal for something is when he is distracted. Dewey wishes to wear his pajamas to school and Reese wants to obtain a scope for his BB gun, Malcolm states Reese doesn't have a BB gun to which Reese replies "Not yet". Malcolm states he should go first due to his more dangerous plan knowing anything after "killer robot" would sound reasonable. Hal easily agrees, Malcolm is suprised himself. Craig comes over incorrectly assuming Lois was having an operatio, also assuming Francis shot her, Hal quickly corrects him. In Alabama, Francis is in tremendous pain but states to Finley he can use it against Lois appeasing her guilt and her inability to make it his fault.
Back at home, Hal has trouble sleeping without Lois and creepily rubs Bengay all over her pillow, only to stay up all night eating frosting and watching a violent movie. Malcolm awakes the next day to find Hal giving Malcolm some help for his robot, a large buzz saw which slices a chair in half, Malcolm is shocked but Hal only shrugs it off as too slow and contemplates adding a larger blade. Later Malcolm and his friends work on some blueprints and have trouble deciding on the best design, Hal later walks in and after viewing the plans states the flamethrower would work best. Lloyd mentions their parents disapprove of this, Hal states they shouldn't tell their parents, leaving them all awestruck.
- The episode title is a pun off of "The birds and the bees".