|Season 05, Episode 5|
|Air date||November 30, 2003|
Malcolm's teacher forces him to secretly record Reese as he divulges his innermost secrets; Francis strikes back after a critic writes a scathing review about the hotel; Dewey secretly starts his own novelty act at an outdoor mall.
Malcolm films Reese for a school psychology assignment, then discovers that he is an unwitting participant in one of Mr. Herkabe's experiments, causing him to be portrayed as a sadistic maniac, also losing Reese's trust.
Meanwhile, Hal fears he'll lose his job when top officials at his company are arrested for embezzlement. He tires to keep this information to himself as to not worry his family about the financial trouble at his place of work
Lois is having problems with her two tormentors aside Malcolm and Reese, the defective washer and dryer. They keep breaking down and keeps yelling at them to stop it. Hal comes home and suggests they replace it, but she reminds him of the financial trouble they're in due to her own problems at Lucky Aide.
At the Grotto Ranch, Francis strikes back after a critic writes a scathing review about the hotel. When Piama calls out the critic for being a selfish bastard to Otto, he makes a racist remark about her native American heritage, causing Francis and Otto to beat him senseless. The next day, the ranch has more guests coming over, thanking the two for beating up the critic. As it turns out, the man was hated by everyone else for writing similar scathing reviews. The only positive review he had were for the ones at the mental hospitals.
When Dewey skips school, he starts earning big money working as a street magician. Soon, Hal and Lois finds his stash of money. However, they assume it was from Hal's secret savings and end up using the money to buy a new washer and dryer.
Malcolm comes up with a quick plan for payback against Herkabe. To do so, he initiates a fight between school bully, Ira, and another student. This distracts Herkabe to run out and break the fight up. Malcolm goes into his office to reveal the other students' dirty secrets (also his own as payback to Reese) they paid Herkabe over the years. Humiliated, Herkabe asks his sidekick to erase the files, but the damages have been done. Reese is having the time of his life pointing out the other students flaws, causing everybody to distance themselves in shame and for him to get suspended.
- Jane Kaczmerek as Lois
- Bryan Cranston as Hal
- Christopher Kennedy Masterson as Francis
- Justin Berfield as Reese
- Erik Per Sullivan as Dewey
- Frankie Muniz as Malcolm
- Chris Eigeman as Mr. Herkabe
- Kenneth Mars as Otto
- Jonny Acker as Ira Prescott
- Craig Lamar Traylor as Stevie Kenarban
- Emy Coligado as Piama
- Don McManus as Charlie Cutler
- Julian Barnes as Mr. Fortinberry
- Joan Blair as Lunch Lady Shirley
- David Battisini as Truant Officer
- Darryl Reed Jr. as Senior
- Jennifer Shon as Patty Lin
- Jacob Gray as Malcolm's Classmate(Uncredited)