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Krelboyne Picnic is the eighth episode of Season 1 of Malcolm in the Middle and the eighth episode overall of the show.

Summary[]

The family have to go to a Krelboyne class picnic. Malcolm doesn't want to go because he has to do an act and doesn't want to look bad in front of his family. Francis promises to get Malcolm out of doing his act but meets a girl at the picnic and no longer wants to leave. Lois tries to fit in with the other parents unsuccessfully and Hal serves meat to vegetarians.

Plot[]

In the cold opening the parents are asleep in the early morning until they hear the boys causing a ruckus. They both pretend to be asleep to make their spouse deal with it. When they hear Malcolm telling his brothers to leave the squirrel alone and get the fire extinguisher, Reese knocking over a heavy item and Dewey mention how blood tastes, Hal gets up but claims Lois had better be naked when he returns.

One morning Reese wakes Malcolm up with a punch to the face as vengeance for the whole family having to attend his Krelboyne picnic that day. Malcolm claims it's humiliating enough but is even more mortified since Francis is home that weekend and will be joining them. Malcolm tries to fake being sick by only to be grounded by Lois for pouring a perfectly good can of vegetable soup into the toilet and he now owes her 49 cents.

At breakfast, both parents believe that the picnic will be fun, but Malcolm reminds them that it is Krelboyne and won't be as fun as they assume. It won't be on the grass because half of the class is allergic, and no meat will be served because the entire class voted not to serve anything that ever had a mother. Dewey brings up their cousin Nancy who has two fathers, and Reese assumes it must be a dude's paradise. Hal contemplates pursuing the vegetarian lifestyle before Francis interjects wondering why he has to go, Lois informs him its a family event and although he no longer lives in the house she assures him he's still part of the family and is looking forward to seeing the Academic Circus and believes it'll be cute. Malcolm interjects claiming it's not a circus but a bunch of social misfits showcasing weird stunts to demonstrate their intellect. Lois asks what Malcolm's weird stunt is but he vaguely tells her it's nothing extraordinary and she likely wouldn't find it interesting. Malcolm goes to Francis and discusses sneaking out since he doesn't want the family to see him preform his act. Francis reassures him they'll hang out for fifteen minutes and sneak out over the fence just like they did at their grandma's wedding.

Upon arriving at the school they are greeted by Caroline wearing makeup and dressed like a clown. Caroline is relieved that Malcolm came since she had a bad dream where he didn’t and she was being chased by a big invisible monster. Upon seeing Dewey she asks him if he’s ready to leave his family and join the circus, only to terrify him enough to clutch onto his dad’s leg. Lois sees a group of Malcolm’s classmates but Malcolm assures her they aren’t his friends just a bunch of geeks and losers, until they see him and chant his name before giving him a badge that identifies him as a performer. Reese claims he is going to kick so much Krelboyne ass that it’s not even funny but decides to wait until later since he has all day. Malcolm reminds Francis they’re getting out of there in fifteen minutes, Francis is so offput by the concept he lowers it to ten minutes.

Lois and Hal introduce themselves to Dabney's mother Doreen and the other moms. Hal gets distracted by the barbecue station and walks off. Lois has brought brownies with walnuts in them but Doreen interjects telling her they can’t have them at the picnic because some of the kids are severely allergic to nuts. Lois apologizes and asks whose child is allergic, Doreen says that although no one in the class is specifically you can never be too careful before dumping the brownies into the garbage much to Lois' and Malcolm's chagrin. Doreen assures Lois it wasn’t meant to humiliate her and is sure the brownies were delicious. Lois isn’t impressed by Doreen’s attitude.

Hal joins the fathers of Malcolm's classmates at the grill and is astounded by the amount of tofu being served, so he shows them the real meat in his cooler astounding them all.

Malcolm meets up with Stevie who is busy preparing chemicals for his act that need to be kept in the shade. Malcolm thought he was doing his project on oscilloscopes but he decided to switch to catalytics since they’re more exciting. Malcolm wonders why he’d care, Stevie tells him that he’ll be following Malcolm’s act and will need to amaze the audience since following him is the equivalent to following Barbra Streisand.

When Francis goes for a smoke break he meets Jody, the older sister of one of Malcolm's classmates. They immediately fall for each other and begin making out. Malcolm finds him and asks if they are still escaping but Francis shoos him away since he is now enjoying himself, Malcolm leaves crestfallen upon realizing Francis isn't going to help him get out of preforming his act.

Reese stalks a group of Krelboynes with their defenses down whilst narrating to himself akin to a nature documentary. The Krelboynes sense his presence before he lets out a roar and they all run away from him while Reese goes after Eraserhead who broke away from the herd. After cornering him into a fence he further narrates that the circle of life goes on. Unfortunately the tables turn against Reese when he’s confronted by Eraserhead’s older brother Alphonse. Eraserhead claims how kafkaesque the situation is confusing Reese until affirming Alphonse to kick his butt.

On stage, Dabney performs his act by arresting the cellular mitosis before Caroline announces the next act was the hit of last year’s math fair, Flora Mayesh and Fermat’s Last Theorem which only bores the audience due to lack of excitement. Doreen finds Lois at a table and informs her that Malcolm has quite the vocabulary, Lois is initially flattered and says he yaps all day long until Doreen states he taught his classmates the “R” word and is sure that he must’ve picked it up from the street and not at home before leaving. Lois is further annoyed by Doreen.

In the audience, Caroline asks Malcolm if he thinks the picnic is going well. Malcolm assures her it’s everything he expected. She asks if he really thinks he’s ready to perform his act, after confirming it she leaves. Stevie is annoyed that Caroline didn’t even bother to ask him if he was ready.

At the grill, Hal is enjoying himself serving actual burgers and hotdogs. Dewey assists him while Hal reprimands him for eating raw meat which he denies. Francis tells Jody what makes their relationship so good is that it feels so fresh which she agrees with. They approach Hal up to his dad and introduces him to Jody who is pleased to meet him with Francis talking so much about him. Hal affirms this fact despite only half paying attention. They leave glad that it went well.

When Lloyd demonstrates his talent by utilizing the Nixon electromagnet it ends in failure after the metal in his braces get attracted to the strong magnetic field trapping himself. Caroline watching in the audience realizes how horrendously most of the students acts are bombing. She asks Dewey to tell her she's wrong but Dewey only excuses himself for passing gas.

Malcolm asks Stevie if he ever gets sick of being a Krelboyne and other people treating him like a freak. Stevie resolves that you are who you are and to accept it, but Malcolm isn’t going down without a fight. Stevie calls him out for harshing his buzz and asks him to watch his chemicals for him to ensure no one messes with them. Malcolm, now desperate claims that in the wrong hands Stevie's demonstration of catalytics could be turned into a gigantic stink bomb. He believes that his own hands look wrong enough.

Lois overhears a conversation between Doreen and the other mothers about a field trip to a historic ghost town will lead to the occult, devil worship and state colleges agreeing that the trip will be cancelled. Lois interrupts and tells Doreen she can't just decide that because they didn't even vote. Doreen claims she was going by the general tone of the group, but Lois interjects that there was no general tone claiming that she hasn't heard a peep out of any of the other women all day and asks them if they all agree with what a control freak like Doreen has to say. One woman speaks up but Doreen calls her Phyllis and tells her to be quiet. The woman angrily states that her name isn't Phyllis and she doesn't feel that way. The rest of the women stand up to Doreen and start voicing their opinions about how they hate her bossing them around. The first woman informs her that her husband told her she should stand up to Doreen after she came home from a bake sale in tears. This in turn leads to a colossal argument against Doreen.

At the tables Dabney realizes his soy burger is bleeding and Lloyd realizes they are eating meat, they tell the others as they attempt to regurgitate it. Hal sees this and hangs up his apron and leaves the grill station hoping to avoid any blame.

Caroline looks around and sees the entire picnic has become chaotic with the children's mothers all arguing with each other and the Krelboynes vomiting the meat that was served. As Alphonse chases Reese over a table, Malcolm's chemicals create a level 3 bio-hazardous explosion that causes all the shocked and alarmed people to run away. Malcolm states the difference between a stink bomb and a level 3 bio-hazard is apparently two extra drops of sulphur tetraoxide and he is totally suing the website that told him the difference in chemicals. He bumps into Hal with them both shouting out that they didn’t do it.

As men in hazmat suits take Stevie's catalytic display away he goes after them demanding a receipt for the faulty chemicals. Caroline sobs as she is scanned for radiation poisoning. Malcolm overwhelmed with guilt says on one hand he ruined Caroline's picnic and possibly endangered several lives but on the other hand it frees him from doing his act, though he's not as relieved as he thought he would be.

Francis meets back up with Jody who isn’t happy about him enjoying how a female paramedic had her hands all over him to ensure he didn’t inhale any toxic fumes. Francis tells her to stop nagging him, but Jody says he should pay more attention to her but Francis says he needs space from her smothering him. Jody tells him he can have his space because they’re through. After breaking up they both proceed to give back everything they gave each other. Jody gives Francis back his school ring, his shirt and the book he lent her. Francis gives Jody back her teddy bear keychain, her two poems, her Depeche mode tape and the gum she gave him.

Meanwhile, Reese is hung on the fence by his underpants and is forced by Alphonse to say how much he loves Krelboynes. Eraserhead commends his brother for his hang time. Alphonse assures him it was just a simple function of the tensile strength of the elastic waistband.

Malcolm finds Caroline in the classroom bawling her eyes out, he brings her a hamburger hoping it'll make them even. She accepts it but questions if it's meat, Malcolm is unsure but before he can excuse himself Caroline apologizes for failing him since she believes he was looking forward to doing his act especially with his family there. Malcolm states she didn't fail him but Caroline blames herself and is convinced she will be fired, claiming she should've listened to her parents and never left their cannery. Malcolm asks if she'd like another burger, she loudly cries yes before breaking down in tears and using the handkerchiefs up her sleeve as tissues.

Hal and Lois sit at a table with another guest. He discusses how outraged he is about meat being served. Doreen comes up to them and tells Lois she is going to ensure she never sets foot in a PTA meeting or has anything to do with the class events. She tells Doreen that she is okay with that and asks her if it is a guarantee because she'd love to get her words in writing. Doreen calls Lois out that she should’ve expected this from the mother of a foul-mouthed thug, seeing where Malcolm gets his attitude from, she questions Lois why he is even in the class. After Doreen leaves. Hal sarcastically sees that Lois made a new friend and she sarcastically informs him that tomorrow they are going shoe shopping together.

Malcolm finds Francis and asks if he can ask a question. Francis still bitter about Jody dumping him agrees that all women suck. Malcolm asks if he and the family would treat him differently if they found out he was a freak, Francis reassures him they already know that he's smart so it won't make anymore of a difference either way. Malcolm realizes that he must go on and quell the crowd by demonstrating his ability to do advanced mathematics in his head.

He begins by asking to see some credit cards. Two men in the audience show him theirs as he memorizes both random credit card numbers instantly, adding the digits individually and adding them both together. Doreen questions how they know he's even right but Dabney states he's correct after using a calculator to determine the answers earning a small applause from the crowd. Malcolm starts to rattle off increasingly complicated sums from the numbers, including multiplying it by pi, cubing it, factoring it, natural log, arc tangent, the reciprocal, in base 8 and additionally that Reykjavik is the capitol of Iceland stunning everyone and earning a round of applause from them all, including his family as they witness first-hand just how smart Malcolm is.

The day is saved. As everyone is seen filing out, Doreen is enraged by Lois proving her wrong over Malcolm's talents and shouts at Dabney for his lack of effort with arresting the cellular mitosis and wonders what they're even paying his tutors for. Reese asks Lloyd if he has any brothers after denying it he punches him in retribution since he has no brothers to defend him. Malcolm finds an unhappy Stevie who states that he killed with his act. Malcolm apologizes for him not getting to showcase his catalysts but Stevie tells him to "shove the sympathy showboat". Before leaving, Francis and Jody reconcile and part ways on friendly terms.

Malcolm worries that the family will treat him differently now. However, in the van they are all silent until Dewey asks if Malcolm is a robot, but Hal reassures him he is just very smart. Francis and Reese simply subject him to the usual teasing and mild insults showing him that nothing has changed while Lois says that it amazes her he can memorize all those numbers but can't remember to brush his teeth. After Hal suggests the Burger Barn they all cheer and share a laugh before heading for a burger.

Malcolm In The Middle028

Malcolm

Cast[]

Guest Stars[]

Recurring[]

Cameos[]

  • Jerry Lambert as Dave
  • Mark Richard as Alphonse (Eraserhead's older brother)
  • Katherine Ellis as Jody (Francis' Girlfriend)

Errors[]

  • The burger Caroline is eating resets at the end of the scene when Malcolm leaves.

Trivia[]

  • The picnic took place at Malcolm's school which was a custom built set located at the most northerly corner of the CBS studio center.[1]
  • Dabney's mother, Doreen, makes her first appearance. She and Lois are very antagonistic to each other due to their similar controlling ways. She would not appear again until three seasons later in the season 4 episode Hal’s Friend.

References[]

Malcolm in the Middle episodes
Season 1 PilotRed DressHome Alone 4ShameMalcolm BabysitsSleepoverFrancis EscapesKrelboyne PicnicLois VS EvilStock Car RacesFuneralCheerleaderRollerskatesThe Bots and the BeesSmundayWater Park
Season 2 Traffic JamHalloween ApproximatelyLois' BirthdayDinner OutCasinoConventionRobberyTherapyHigh School PlayBullyOld Mrs. OldKrelboyne GirlNew NeighborsHal QuitsThe GrandparentsTraffic TicketSurgeryReese CooksTutoring ReeseBowlingMalcolm vs. ReeseMini-BikeCarnivalEvacuationFlashback
Season 3 HouseboatEmancipationBook ClubMalcolm's GirlfriendCharityHealth ScareChristmasPokerReese's JobLois' MakeoverCompany Picnic (1)Company Picnic (2)Reese DrivesCynthia's BackHal's BirthdayHal CoachesDewey's DogPoker 2Clip ShowJury DutyCliquesMonkey
Season 4 ZooHumilithonFamily ReunionStupid GirlForwards BackwardsForbidden GirlfriendMalcolm Holds His TongueBoys At RanchGrandma SuesIf Boys Were GirlsLong DriveKicked OutStereo StoreHal's FriendGarage SaleAcademic OctathalonClip Show #2Reese's PartyFuture MalcolmBaby Part 1Baby Part 2Day Care
Season 5 VegasWatching The BabyGoodbye KittyThanksgivingMalcolm Films ReeseMalcolm's JobChristmas TreesBlock PartyDirty MagazineHot TubIda's BoyfriendSoftballLois' SisterMalcolm Dates a FamilyReese's ApartmentMalcolm Visits CollegePolly in the MiddleDewey's Special ClassExperimentVictor's Other FamilyReese Joins the Army: Part 1Reese Joins the Army: Part 2
Season 6 Reese Comes HomeBuseys Run AwayStandeePearl HarborKitty's BackHal's Christmas GiftHal SleepwalksLois Battles JamieMalcolm's CarBillboardDewey's OperaLiving WillTiki LoungeIda Loses a LegChad's SleepoverNo MotorcyclesButterfliesIda's DanceMotivational SpeakerStiltsBuseys Take A HostageMrs. Tri-County
Season 7 Burning ManHealth InsuranceReese vs. StevieHalloweenJessica Stays OverSecret BoyfriendBlackoutArmy BuddyMalcolm Defends ReeseMalcolm's MoneyBride of IdaCollege RecruitersMonoHal GrievesA.ALois Strikes BackHal's DentistBomb ShelterStevie in the HospitalCattle CourtMorpGraduation
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