|Season 7, Episode 2|
Reese vs. Stevie
After Hal forgets to pay the family's health insurance, the company won't reinstate it until Monday, so he panics. He locks up every sharp or dangerous object in the house, a category in which he thinks mere spoons belong, in the garage, accidentally leaving Jamie in the middle of the pile of knives, pokers, and chainsaws. He also locks up the boys in their room to keep them from getting hurt, but ends up hurting himself. The boys lie to Lois on Hal's behalf and take him to a veterinarian to treat him. Meanwhile, Lois thinks that Craig is snitching to the boss about the employees starting a union. She insinuates this to the rest of the Lucky Aide staff, and they beat Craig up. It is later revealed that Craig is, in fact, not the snitch, and he was merely planning a surprise party for Lois.
- Hal reveals that he once left Dewey in Mexico. Possibly the first time Hal tried to reach the ranch and ended up in Mexico instead, which Francis mentioned in an earlier episode.
- Hal: I got news for you, Reese. Seventeen-year-olds die all the time.
- Reese: Come on, Dad, that's just something they tell you so you'll stay off drugs.
- Hal: It's a very special moment when a father watches his boys lie to their mother for him. There's only one thing that could make me prouder: if one of you could saw off my leg.
- Craig: Let the records show that I advocated a policy of cowardice and appeasement.