|Season 4, Episode 9|
Boys At Ranch
If Boys Were Girls
Ida visits the Wilkersons and slips on a leaf, breaking her back. She then sues the family for being indirectly responsible for that happening.
Malcolm is outside sleeping in a tent explaining Ida came to visit at the same time Francis and Piama came to visit. Due to him being at the library when they needed a volunteer to sleep outside, he had no choice. Lois calls Malcolm in for breakfast but the zipper on his tent is jammed. Inside, Francis and Ida are arguing about the proper way to butter toast. Lois asks Ida to pass the potatoes, Ida only states she has had enough, and asked if her chair had to break before she stop eating. Francis whispers to Piama that his family is worse than hers, Piama then states that her grandpa chopped the pinky off their milkman for bringing them 2%. Hal tells Ida he's ready to drive her to the bus station, as it is her last day of her visit. Ida claims the bus won't be arriving for another 3 hour, Hal states that there might be a parade. Malcolm comes in to find little to no food left, Lois only says he should have come when she had called him. When Ida is headed out the door, Lois wonders why Reese didn't rake the leaves in the yard, Reese claims he's waiting for the rest to fall first. Suddenly, Ida slips on one unraked leaf falling to the ground, breaking her collarbone much to everyon else's horror.
Later, Malcolm is back in his tent struggling to keep his books on his lap and having to hold up a trashcan lid to avoid being sprayed by a sprinkler. Francis comes in telling Malcolm to help Ida unpack, as she is now unfit to travel, with Francis claiming she did it on purpose just to make the entire family suffer. Malcolm only responds that he finds it unfair he continues to be punished for somethin that's not his fault. Meanwhile, in Hal and Lois' bedroom Reese is at the computer when Dewey walks in wondering what he is up to, punching himself in the face to ensure Reese can trust him. Reese then asks him to show him how to turn on the computer.
At dinner, Ida is having to be fed by Lois, due to a metal cage being used to help her heal, continuing to complain about the family's shortcomings. Francis asks Piama if she'll admit his family's worse, but Piama reiterates that her mother faked stomach cancer in order to avoid getting custody. After Ida goes to answer the doorbell claiming it's for her Malcolm comes in finding that they are eating witho even telling him, having scratches on his face due to an owl flying into his tent (claiming if he had known he was missing dinner he would've taken the snake out of the owls beak).
- Lois and Hal find out they're pregnant with Jamie in this episode.
- In previous episodes, Malcolm technically wasn't the middle child, given that he's the second youngest of 4 kids. However, due to there being a 5th child in this episode, there are two younger than him, officially placing "Malcolm in the middle".
- This episode first aired on Valentine's Day.
- Malcolm and Dewey hear that Reese has never seen Charlie Brown before and take advantage of it by pulling off the infamous running gag from the show, where Lucy pulls the football away from Charlie before he kicks it.