|Season 1, Episode 11|
|Air date||April 9, 2000|
|Written by||Maggie Bandur & Pang-Ni Landrum|
|Directed by||Arlene Sanford|
Stock Car Races
The family reluctantly prepares for Aunt Helen's funeral, but Lois finally gets fed-up by the collective attitude and announces she's going to take a bubble bath and everyone else can do their own things.
Francis is upset that Aunt Helen's death was not reported to him. This frees Malcolm to attend a concert with Julie, but she catches him in his underwear and runs away.
One morning, the family is getting ready for Lois' aunt Helen's funeral. While getting dressed Hal and Lois explain to Dewey what happens to people after they die and tell him that he needs to get ready for the funeral. Malcolm is less than thrilled in going to Aunt Helen's funeral because all family gatherings for him are the same, old women pinching his cheeks, claiming he can't wait until he gets acne so then he will be able to fight back, he tells his mother but Lois is adamant in going and gives Malcolm guilt for not feeling bad for his late great aunt. He wanted to go to a concert with Julie Houlerman instead. While getting ready, Hal was looking forward to listening to his records and Dewey has a hard time getting rid of his silent friend, Egg. The only one actually looking forward to going to Aunt Helen's funeral is Reese because he trashed an expensive Mighty Man toy and wants to bury it with her so no one finds out, claiming he has no idea why he does reckless and brutal deeds only claiming he doesnt want to get caught, and he learned from a lawyer show Lois will think he did it but cannot prove it without evidence "No Evidence, No Conviction, E Pleribus Unum". Francis feels like he's not part of the family because no one told him about a family member dying and is even more upset when Lois tells him that Aunt Helen's husband Uncle Fred had died two months prior. Francis continues to rant to Lois asking her if anyone else has died witho him knowing, she tells him Hal mowed the law, Reese polished off all the cereal and she dropped a frying pan on her foot and got a big black toe, wondering if he would like her to send a picture, before she sees Egg throwing utensils out of a drawer, she tells him to stop before Francis asks who Egg is, her only response is Egg was a new boy in the house, confusing him once again.
Later on as Hal is getting dressed for Aunt Helen's funeral, he reveals to Malcolm that Lois and everyone else hated her. Irate that Lois lied to him about being close to her, he calls Julie again and lies about Aunt Helen, giving him a leeway to go to the concert. Lois is still adamant that the family goes and it erupts in a fight between her and Hal. Fed up, she declares that they won't go to the funeral and that the family can do whatever they want from now on.
Hiding in the bathroom to take a bubble bath, Lois sends Reese away when he tries to encourage her to attend Aunt Helen's funeral and he blames Malcolm for it because he was looking forward to hiding a broken toy present from Hal and Lois. Hal listens to his records on his quadraphonic, specifically the song "Stuck in the Middle with You" by Steelers Wheel, while Dewey gets Egg some juice he accidentally spills and Lois calls him to clean it up. Dewey squirts an entire bottle of dish soap on the floor, and him and Egg making a mess of things by covering the entire kitchen floor in suds. As Julie comes to pick up Malcolm, she catches sight of him in his underwear and is disgusted. She runs out of the room only to trip over the cord Hal used to plug in his quadraphonic, fall onto the soapy kitchen floor of Dewey and Egg and slides into the trash can that Reese kicked over. Malcolm runs out, and Julie explains she just wanted to be nice and people advised her to stay away from Malcolm's house. Malcolm apologizes and says he'll be ready to go soon. Julie rejects this, saying she no longer wants to go, and now she wants nothing to do with Malcolm ever again. She then leaves and never talks to him again.
The Wilkersons are now divided, Lois drinking tea, Hal eating cookies, Reese applying new tape to his hockey stick and Dewey plays with Egg. In the boys' bedroom, Malcolm calls Francis for help after what happened because now the family won't speak to each other and he admits it's his own fault. He is elated because he knew it was going to happen. Francis tells Malcolm that he kept them together by blaming him as their scapegoat. Without him to blame their problems on, the family doesn't know what to do with themselves. Malcolm thanks Francis for his help and and knows who would make the perfect scapegoat: Reese.
Coming into the living room, Malcolm adresses his family and apologizes for tearing them apart because of his own selfish needs. This gets Lois' attention, but he's not done and tells them what Reese did was worse. Malcolm proves it by taking his backpack and reveals the crushed Mighty Man toy in front of them. Lois and Hal are furious with Reese for what he's done. Malcolm reveals more including that he was only looking forward to the funeral so he can hide the broken toy in Aunt Helen's coffin. Lois decides the family will attend the funeral right away so Reese can apologize to Aunt Helen.
At Aunt Helen's funeral, Hal gives out a heartfelt, yet amusing speech which impresses the family. While Lois is talking to Francis on the phone, Reese has his nose to the wall as his punishment for destroying Dewey's birthday present and tries to turn away. However, she catches him in the act and orders him to face the wall again. Malcolm states it has been a pretty productive day, now he has Julie hating him and Reese waiting to kick his ass when they get home, but helps a relative because he needs someone to put in a good word for him just in case Aunt Helen bad mouths him to God.
- Erik Per Sullivan and Alexander Gould later appeared in Finding Nemo.
- This episode marks the final appearance of Julie Houlerman.