Malcolm in the Middle Wiki
Register
Advertisement

Long Drive is the eleventh episode of season four of Malcolm in the Middle.

Synopsis[]

Lois takes Malcolm on a long drive and talks about sex the whole time. Francis accidentally blows up Otto's favorite cow. Dewey accidentally starts a war between Hal and his friends before their show starts. Reese smack talks a man who is in jail and up for parole.

Plot[]

In the cold opening Malcolm and Reese find themselves locked out of the house Reese is in disbelief because Lois will not be home until 6:00. Malcolm gets out a rock with a spare key in it but Reese simply smashes the window with the rock to unlock the door claiming that the credit card thing takes hours.

At the house, Hal asks Lois why she's taking her pillow to her sister's house, Lois wants to be comfortable since she has no idea how long she'll be there, Hal wonders what he is supposed to sniff while she's gone, earning a head shake of disapproval from her. Malcolm explains that Lois' doctor is making her move in with Susan for a while to prepare for the baby's arrival, and Hal is gradually adjusting since now he goes out to the garage to cry. Lois lectures the boys on not using coasters for their drinks and it's exactly the reason why she has to move out and continually reasons that every infraction is "killing the baby" including running through the house, destroy furniture or fighting with each other. Hal reminds Lois that the doctor says she needs to avoid stress which she claims is precisely the reason. Malcolm asks her to stop using the "killing the baby" card as the imagery is making them all uncomfortable. Lois ends by saying that the excuse should persuade them into better behavior while she's gone, the boys apologize and leave to their bedroom.

In their room they celebrate that Lois is leaving. Malcolm reminds them that they just need to keep it up for a few more days she'll be gone and they can laugh all they want as she's backing out of the driveway. Dewey questions whether or not they really are killing the baby, Malcolm sees it as nothing more than a ploy since a week before Dewey was born Reese and himself tied their playpen to the back of Lois' car and followed her to work. Reese claims she is just saying that to compensate for the fact that they literally drove her from the house and soon they'll be in charge.

At the Grotto, Otto is admiring his beloved cow Helga. Francis enters and Otto asks if he's seen Helga's favourite squeaky toy, he says he hasn't but did find the new branding iron reminding him that all of the cattle need to be branded and dewormed. Otto tries to hide it to avoid making Helga nervous because the last time Helga was frightened by a scary campfire story she had to sleep between him and Gretchen for a week, confusing Francis.

Hal, Abe, Brian, Trey, Steve and Malik have all formed a band and are playing The Kingston Trio's "M.T.A.". Hal announces that he booked them a gig at the Elk's Club founders dinner. Abe is in disbelief because they haven't taken a new act in years and it's easier to get on the waiting list for a new heart. Hal explains at the gas station he saw the current act Eddie Eigen and while trying to say hello he slipped on an oil stain. Hal said it was as if God himself backed a minivan over Eddie's ventriloquist hand, Eddie used Hal's phone to cancel his performance and shortly after Hal pressed redial and booked them the gig.

At Nicki's house she is arguing with her father about seeing Malcolm while he hides in the closet. Malcolm claims that Nicki is a good liar and wonders whether or not it's a good thing. Nicki tells him that her father is a jerk for making them hang out in closets before making out. Malcolm tells her they can hang out at his house after school once Lois leaves, Nicki agrees since she can't get away with anything at her own house.

At home, Malcolm is reprimanded by his parents for seeing Nicki instead of picking Dewey up from school like he had promised. Dewey’s face is covered in bee stings after some incident involving rocks and a beehive. Malcolm lies that he was at the library and he wasn't seeing her but Lois doesn't believe him and he is simply digging a tiny little grave for the baby every time he lies. Reese runs inside frantically and attempts to compliment Lois but sirens are heard outside, both parents are used to the routine by now and Lois says she'll put on some coffee and Hal tells her it's an officer they know named Henson who likes decaf.

In the parents bedroom they discuss "A Day in Prison" program that was suggested by the police after Reese's latest infraction. Hal is skeptical since it sounds so scary but Lois tells him that it's precisely the point: Reese goes to prison for the day where a bunch of criminals scream at him, which will frighten him enough to behave and he will come home good. Lois refuses to move in with Susan and leave Hal all alone with Reese being a delinquent. Hal agrees to it after he learns from the brochure that the program includes a snack.

At the Grotto while deworming the cattle, another ranch hand named Ray asks Francis how the deworming process is going, he states he's making progress despite the fumes being near unbearable. He then gets ready to brand Helga but Ray realizes that he forgot to brand Helga and the other cattle before starting the deworming process, Francis wonders what the difference is until the hot branding iron causes the flammable cattle deworming liquid to ignite and Helga explodes, killing her. Ray tells Francis that was the primary difference.

At the Elk Club, the Gentleman Callers and Dewey arrive and Abe says in three hours they'll be preforming on that stage and Trey says the dessert slot is the best. Hal tells Dewey to sit quietly at one of the tables since he has to focus on the performance. Dewey finds it unfair and wonders why he couldn't go snowboarding with Reese, Hal tells him that Reese isn't snowboarding that it was just a lie and Reese is in jail, Dewey is excited until he learns only for a few hours.

At the prison, Reese and a group of other boys his age are introduced to a large muscular inmate named Samuel who's crime is against the law to mention to minors. Once Samuel is uncuffed he starts by telling the boys that he owns them and they are his property and he lets them all know that he doesn't take very good care of his things. He loudly orders another boy to stand up and turn around like a top which the terrified boy blindly obeys. He further explains that in prison you have to make your own fun and when kids like them get thrown in the slammer it is like Christmas to him and if they displease him he will not hesitate to wring their necks until their eyeballs bulge out of their heads and he pops them with a fork earning a chuckle from Reese. Samuel asks if Reese thinks that was funny but he assumes he was trying to be funny, since Reese volunteered he tells him how his first day in prison will play out, after hearing how it will be Samuel emphasizes not to expect any flowers afterwards.

Back at the Grotto, Francis is working up the courage to tell Otto, he reminds him Helga was just a cow but Francis reminds him she was in his will. The Grotto's head chef Arnold comes out and thanks Francis for accidentally killing Helga and letting him create a culinary masterpiece with unique cuts of beef and makes a joke about the smoky flavour. Francis thanks Arnold for the joke and tells him that Ray's dad has a week to live and maybe he can do 10 minutes on him as well. Otto asks Francis if he's seen Helga and Francis fights the urge to tell Otto that the steak he is eating is Helga and is more off-put by his praise of the tenderness of the steak. Otto wonders if Helga ran away and believes she may be upset with him and admits he should've been there when he branded her for moral support. Otto decides to go search for Helga even if it takes all night, Francis almost brings himself to tell him but backs out and promises to help him look.

Reese begins to taunt Samuel, unphased by all the threats he is making once he realizes that Samuel is in prison for life and he has no reason to be afraid of him. On the bus, the officer tells the group of boys that because of Samuel's participation in the program, he is going to be getting parole next week. Samuel mouths threats at Reese from the window of his cell as Reese sticks his head out the window, yelling that Samuel will never will be able to find him even if he gets out, unaware that the school name and district are written on the side of the bus visible to Samuel.

Quotes[]

  • Dewey: There were rock, there was a beehive, but where were you?

  • Dewey: Why do I have to be here? Why couldn't I go snowboarding with Reese?
  • Hal: Reese isn't snowboarding. That was just a lie Mommy and Daddy told. Reese is in jail.
  • Dewey (happily): For how long?
  • Hal: A few hours.
  • Dewey (disappointed): Oh.

  • Hal: So, what'd you think, Dewey?
  • Dewey: It's cool. it's fun the way you guys move.
  • Hal: Yeah.
  • Dewey: How come you're always in the back?
  • Hal: I'm not always in the ... Will, even if I am, it's not about where anyone is. It's about what's best for the group.
  • Dewey: Okay. Why's it best for the group to put you in the back?
  • (Hal stops in his tracks, put into a state of shock)

Trivia[]

  • This is the second time a member of the family has been attacked by bees after “The Bots and The Bees”
  • The songs Charlie in the M.T.A. and Greenback Dollar, both songs by The Kingston Trio are sung by Hal's band, "The Gentleman Callers" in this episode.
  • This is the second time a member of the family has been attacked by bees after “The Bots and The Bees”
  • In this episode, it is implied that Malcolm has been sexually active with Nicki.
  • It can also be inferred that Hal was the one responsible for running over Eddie's ventriloquist hand.
Malcolm in the Middle episodes
Season 1 PilotRed DressHome Alone 4ShameMalcolm BabysitsSleepoverFrancis EscapesKrelboyne PicnicLois VS EvilStock Car RacesFuneralCheerleaderRollerskatesThe Bots and the BeesSmundayWater Park
Season 2 Traffic JamHalloween ApproximatelyLois' BirthdayDinner OutCasinoConventionRobberyTherapyHigh School PlayBullyOld Mrs. OldKrelboyne GirlNew NeighborsHal QuitsThe GrandparentsTraffic TicketSurgeryReese CooksTutoring ReeseBowlingMalcolm vs. ReeseMini-BikeCarnivalEvacuationFlashback
Season 3 HouseboatEmancipationBook ClubMalcolm's GirlfriendCharityHealth ScareChristmasPokerReese's JobLois' MakeoverCompany Picnic (1)Company Picnic (2)Reese DrivesCynthia's BackHal's BirthdayHal CoachesDewey's DogPoker 2Clip ShowJury DutyCliquesMonkey
Season 4 ZooHumilithonFamily ReunionStupid GirlForwards BackwardsForbidden GirlfriendMalcolm Holds His TongueBoys At RanchGrandma SuesIf Boys Were GirlsLong DriveKicked OutStereo StoreHal's FriendGarage SaleAcademic OctathalonClip Show #2Reese's PartyFuture MalcolmBaby Part 1Baby Part 2Day Care
Season 5 VegasWatching The BabyGoodbye KittyThanksgivingMalcolm Films ReeseMalcolm's JobChristmas TreesBlock PartyDirty MagazineHot TubIda's BoyfriendSoftballLois' SisterMalcolm Dates a FamilyReese's ApartmentMalcolm Visits CollegePolly in the MiddleDewey's Special ClassExperimentVictor's Other FamilyReese Joins the Army: Part 1Reese Joins the Army: Part 2
Season 6 Reese Comes HomeBuseys Run AwayStandeePearl HarborKitty's BackHal's Christmas GiftHal SleepwalksLois Battles JamieMalcolm's CarBillboardDewey's OperaLiving WillTiki LoungeIda Loses a LegChad's SleepoverNo MotorcyclesButterfliesIda's DanceMotivational SpeakerStiltsBuseys Take A HostageMrs. Tri-County
Season 7 Burning ManHealth InsuranceReese vs. StevieHalloweenJessica Stays OverSecret BoyfriendBlackoutArmy BuddyMalcolm Defends ReeseMalcolm's MoneyBride of IdaCollege RecruitersMonoHal GrievesA.ALois Strikes BackHal's DentistBomb ShelterStevie in the HospitalCattle CourtMorpGraduation
Advertisement