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Charlie on the MTA

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Charlie on the MTA, also known as The Man Who Never Returned is a song sung by the band Kingston. It was sung by The Gentleman Callers in the episode Long Drive.

Lyrics

Original

Vocal Group: Charlie's wife goes down to the Scollay Square station
every day, a quarter past two
and through the open window, she hands Charlie a sandwich
Basso Singer: as the train comes rumbling through.
Hal: Woo woo!
Vocal Group: But did he ever return?
No, he never returned
and his fate is still unlearned.
Hal: He may ride forever.
Vocal Group: He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston.
He's the man who never returned.
Hal: Play that banjo, Steve-o.
(Banjo solo)
Vocal Group: Or else he'll never return, no.
He'll never return
and his fate is still unlearned.
Hal: Just like Paul Revere.
Vocal Group: He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston.
He's the man who never returned.
He's the man who never returned.

Reprise

(Hal goes up on stage and performs without the rest of the group)
Hal: Woo woo!
(He continues to dance onstage, without any accompaniment)
Hal: Play that Banjo Steve-o.
Yee-haw!
Abe: Now all night long, Charlie rides through the station, crying "What will become of me?"
Second guy: How can I afford seeing my to see my sister in Chelsea?
Basso singer: Or my cousin in Roxbury?
All: But did he ever return?
No, he never returned
and his fate is still unlearned.
Hal: Shame and scandal.
All: He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston.
He's the man who never returned.
He's the man who never returned.

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